#TheBlog

The Surly Brewing Fall Activities Guide

A lot of our favorite fall rituals are cancelled, postponed, or still up in the air. As we continue trying to make the very best of the very worst year, Surly Brewing would like to offer some alternatives that can pick up the slack until whatever “normal” looks like returns.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: From the Big Ten to the MIAC, fall football is either 86’ed or delayed until spring of next year. If you go to your tailgate spot, none of your friends and fellow alums will be there. Instead, you’re going to quickly find it’s just a credit union parking lot and the security guard wants to know why your card table/bloody mary bar is blocking the ATM lane.

  • OUR SOLUTION: It might finally be time for you to get into soccer. The English Premier League is on TV most Saturdays, their fans can go toe-to-toe with the most committed Crimson Tide fan for unreasonable devotion to their side and bone-deep hate for their opponent, and they like beer too. They like beer a lot.
  • OUR PAIRING: The Party Starter. Even a tailgate of one needs variety.

THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL PHOTO: If you dread all those “BRAELYNN’S FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN” Facebook posts, this year is your jackpot. Parents are already on tilt and will not be sending the kids out in sweats and quar haircuts for one doorway shot before shooing them back to the computer for more distance learning.

  • OUR SOLUTION: Wait until the end of the day. Celebrate the transition from working on the couch to watching TV on the couch by getting the kids together for a shot when they’re actually maybe awake.
  • OUR PAIRING: Rocket Surgery, the official beer of tutoring geometry between 17 Zoom calls and making dinner.

OKTOBERFEST: Those massive parties that celebrate German beer, food, culture, and polka? Yeah, no. They’re not happening this year. Even Munich canceled their celebration.

  • OUR SOLUTION: Use your steins for non-beer items. Thick glassware can be durable and stylish vessels for salty snacks, cheese-intensive dips, and even a savory hotdish.
  • OUR PAIRING: Oktoberfest. Duh.

HALLOWEEN: No one really knows what October 31 is going to look like. The kids have already lost an entire summer. If we drop “no trick-or-treating” on them right now that’s going to go over like a fart in church. For adults, the opportunity to dress like Sexy MyPillow Guy or Zombie Jason DeRusha is very much in peril.

  • OUR SOLUTION: Start building a strategic reserve of fun size candy bars, makeup, costumes, and fake blood. Then, on one of the many, many evenings when you are doing absolutely less than nothing, declare AUTOMATIC HALLOWEEN. Dress up, make every room with a door in your residence a trick-or-treat opportunity, and if your local supply chain is stable, huck a roll of toilet paper in the nearest tree. We’re pretty sure this is what Danzig does every day. This year, be more like Danzig.
  • OUR PAIRING: Darkness and Damien. Again, duh.

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