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The Fairest Of Them All

Certain things are matters of settled law in Minnesota. It’s hotdish, not casserole. It’s WILLmer, not willMAR. It’s “leave the barest sliver of a cake donut in the box in the break room” not “eat the whole thing like a regular goddamn human being.”

However, one thing continues to drive a wedge between us. Marriages dissolve. Friendships fracture. Book clubs degenerate as members push aside the Jonathan Franzen novel they absolutely haven’t read to rain blows down upon each other. The trigger?

Corn dogs or Pronto Pups.

“What’s the difference,” you might ask. The fact that you’d even say this, to our face, ON A WEBSITE WE PAY FOR, indicates that you need a quick lesson as regards the subject of batter-dipped cased meats skewered on wood.

THE CORN DOG: A hot dog is dipped in batter, deep fried, and served.

THE PRONTO PUP: A hot dog is dipped in batter, deep fried, and served.

Bet you feel like a real idiot now, huh?

There are, of course, actual differences between the two. A corn dog glistens with golden cornmeal/corn flour batter. The Pronto Pup gleams with golden pancake batter*, and is noticeably less sweet than a corn dog. The one you choose to go to town on in front of thousands at the Minnesota State Fair signifies your personal brand as much as iPhone vs. Android, 5-8 Club vs. Matt’s Bar, or Bemidji Paul Bunyan vs. Brainerd Paul Bunyan.

(*MPR’s Tracy Mumford notes that the State Fair Pronto Pups also use cornmeal in their batter, yet are still nothing like corn dogs. Straight-up Falcon Heights sorcery.)

Surly wants to bridge this cultural divide. And by “bridge this cultural divide” we mean “determine which one is better once and for all.”

From the opening day of the Fair through Labor Day (8/22 – 9/2), we’re asking you to cast your vote online for corn dog or Pronto Pup. There can be only one. We’ll announce the winner on Labor Day evening. The voters who cast their lot with the correct batter-slathered wiener qualify to enjoy the Surly culinary team’s version of the winning item on Tuesday, Sept. 3rd from 3-6 pm at our Destination Brewery.

Let’s settle this once and for all, Minnesota. For justice, honor, and a caloric intake your physician needn’t know about.


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