Thanksgiving is this week. Are you ready? The short answer is “No.” The long answer is “No, and shut up.” Winter weather, overcrowded airports, the startling fact that December starts on Sunday. It’s all barreling your way like a boulder rolling downhill. You look like you could use a beer. Some recommendations from an award-winning regional brewery can be found below:
The night before Thanksgiving/”Drinksgiving.” Everyone’s home to see the fam on Thursday, which means you get to hang with all your friends on Wednesday night. Unfortunately, the last time you did that, someone ordered shots that were basically scotch and kerosene. Twice. You woke up in a house that wasn’t yours in a town that wasn’t incorporated. You’re not that young anymore and you have a big day tomorrow.
SUGGESTED PAIRING: DOUBLE TAKE G&T AND DOUBLE TAKE TRANSFUSION. These limited-release social mocktails have 10mg of THC and zero alcohol. Enjoy on ice or straight from the can. Carving the turkey without a hangover may take some getting used to, but we believe in you.
They only call it a “fun run” because it rhymes. The only people who should be up this early are those hearty souls preparing the feast, but nope, someone decided signing up for a 5k/10k was a good idea. It’s cold outside. People are dressed like turkeys. This is madness. Calories aren’t even real today, what are you doing?
SUGGESTED PAIRING: HOUSE BLEND NITRO COFFEE ALE. This collab with Peace Coffee is rich, roasty, and smooth. As the runners trudge past your house, shuffle out in your hoodie and pajama pants, raise your pint glass, and go back inside to snooze along with the dog and Al Roker.
A beer with dinner. You were so preoccupied with the star of the show (baked turkey, smoked turkey, deep-fried turkey, turkey stuffed with other birds, tofurkey, actually it’s a ham) and the supporting cast of starch-intensive sides that you didn’t consider the beer.
SUGGESTED PAIRING: FEASTBIER 2024. Stop by the Beer Hall to grab a bottle of the 2024 edition, a Wee Heavy with vanilla aged on 12-Year George Dickel Whiskey barrels. (If you’re too far away, grab a 12er of WINTERIZE from your local craft beer outlet, our amber winter lager is super versatile.)
Politics. You managed to steer the entire dinner table chatter to the safe conversational harbor of holiday plans, movies, and the weather. Then, right as you’re about to get into the pie, someone says the exact wrong thing. The passive aggression gets less passive, the kids scatter for the basement, and mom’s crying in the bathroom.
SUGGESTED PAIRING: DARKNESS. You were maybe thinking about saving the 2024 edition for New Year’s Eve, but the minute Aunt Tracy’s new boyfriend drops the f-bomb in front of grandma, that ship has sailed.
So much football. Big day for the Upper Midwest, as the Bears, Lions, and Packers all play, with huge implications for the idle Vikings.
SUGGESTED PAIRING: FURIOUS. Our flagship beer gives you the aggressive hop profile you need to enjoy Lions/Bears and Packers/Dolphins (and tolerate Cowboys/Giants).
When you agree to go Black Friday shopping. You’re at the mall the day after Thanksgiving. People are brawling over air fryers and Taylor Swift Eras merch. The parking lot is a sequel to Children of Men. You never asked for this. This isn’t what you wanted.
SUGGESTED PAIRING: MOSH PIT HAZY. Maybe it’s a restaurant by the Spencer’s Gifts. It could be a sports bar across the interstate. Today, though, it is nothing less than salvation. You walk in. You sit down. They have our hazy IPA on tap. The bartender looks you in the eye. You just nod. Words are unnecessary. You enjoy a bracing pint and watch Days of Our Lives on the bar TV. RIP John Black.
Of course, these are just suggestions, and you may find that MOSH PIT JUICY PALE ALE or AXE MAN works better for the situation at hand. We’re not Martha Stewart, we’re a brewery, and can only do so much. (A tasteful centerpiece really does pull the whole table together, though.) If your travels take you to the Minneapolis-St. Paul metro area, the Brewery is the place to go:
- EXCEPT FOR THURSDAY. WE ARE CLOSED ON THANKSGIVING. DON’T COME HERE, THE DOORS WILL BE LOCKED.
- Surly is a designated dropoff point for Toys for Tots this year, starting Black Friday and going through December 15th.
- Our Black Friday in-store deal is a steal: Spend $50 on gift cards, get a $10 bonus card; spend $100 on gift cards, get $30! And get a free beer for every $50 you spend on gift cards (up to ten beers).
- Take a Saturday brewery tour!. Also a reminder that you can schedule private tours for family and company holiday outings.
- And don’t forget to make your Dorit’s Tavern reservation!
And finally, a reminder: People train runs outta Stubbville.
