Posted on September 11th, 2017

The Surly Guide to Enjoying Football

Minnesota, Other

We should clarify up top that we are talking about American football; the simple answer to enjoying the other kind of football is a Rising North Pale Ale, official beer of Minnesota United. And some chanting/singing. Maybe an opinion about Arsenal? You should be good.

But you can also #GetSurly while enjoying the oblong kind of football, too. Here’s how:

  • First of all, you can find our beers in US Bank Stadium. Helpful map here:

  • Yes, beer is an important part of tailgating. And not just for drinking. Food preparation, from bratwursts to chili to, well, bratwursts again, often uses beer as a critical component. The office consensus is Hell for brats and Bender for chili (or Todd for beer mustard), but let your palette be your guide.
  • Your fantasy football draft, which never turns out the way you want it to because your old college roommate keeps picking the guys you want, leaving you with six New York Jets, is demonstrably improved by Xtra-Citra. It’s sessionable, it’s crisp, and it’s a pleasant distraction from sitting in a Roseville basement while your brother-in-law blames his farts on the dog as you waste a perfect late-summer day.
  • Can the coach hear you yelling at the TV to go for it on fourth down? Can the defense hear you and your friends at the bar screaming at the 47 different high-def sets to “tackle somebody for the love of god” as you wipe wing sauce on your lucky sweatpants? Skeptics say no, but we’ve found a Furious to aid in what we call “productive shouting” at key appliances. Our research on the project was conducted during multiple Blair Walsh field goal attempts. We don’t want to talk about it.
  • If your pro/college game has one of those very early starts and you’re playing bags/cornhole at the crack of dawn/noon, a Coffee Bender is a perfect eye-opener. Plus, holding one in your non-throwing hand balances out the beanbag in the other. Stay centered.
  • If you’re at TCF Bank Stadium on a Saturday, btw, here’s where you can #GetSurly:

  • True diehards paint their faces and/or conversion van in the colors of their preferred team. As a business, we understand the importance of branding, and would only recommend that 1) Use a water-soluble face paint, and 2) Pair your art with a Cynic, our Belgian-style pale ale. Will it help you channel Belgian masters like Magritte and Michaux as you put the finishing touches on your Iowa Hawkeyes-themed Econoline? Probably.
  • As December hits and the days are four hours long and you spend all four of those precious sunlit hours watching your team’s porous offensive line allow the quarterback to be ground into a rough paste, crack open that bomber of Darkness you’ve been saving. It goes with the mood and the season.
  • The game that we can’t say without getting in trouble is being played at US Bank Stadium in February. If you’re coming in from out of town for the game, please stop in. We’ll be happy to serve you.

(Image courtesy Flickr/Actors Max.)