The big pile of snow/crud in the Sears parking lot is gone. Road construction makes your phone’s traffic app more important than significant family members. The shovels and winter coats are put away WITH AN ABUNDANCE OF CAUTION.
Welcome to summer, Minnesota.
Surly is celebrating the three months where we can safely go outside with our second-ever variety pack. As with our first one, this will contain three essential Surly brands (Furious, Hell, Xtra-Citra) and a beer exclusive to the variety pack. That beer is Heat Slayer.
Befitting the season, Heat Slayer is an easy-drinking, Kölsch-style beer. It’s called “Kölsch-style” because a true Kölsch has to be brewed within 50 kilometers of Köln, Germany. Minneapolis is 6887 kilometers from Köln, which is 6837 kilometers outside the Range of Kölsch Acceptance, or RoKA, an acronym we just made up.
What you need to know about it:
- Pale/straw yellow in color.
- A smidge hoppier than a traditional Kölsch (as Surly does).
- Top fermented at cooler-than-normal temperatures with traditional German Ale yeast.
- German noble hops and German malts.
- 5.0% ABV.
What you may not know is that Heat Slayer and the rest of Variety Pack 2.0 pairs perfectly with the following Minnesota summer landmarks:
- The vague invite to “help out” at your friend’s cabin, meaning you’ll be standing in freezing lake water helping him put in a dock for the new boat with a frankly troubling name.
- Making it to your weekend destination after sitting on Highway 10 for eternity, silently cursing every billboard for Treasure City in Royalton. These will turn into repeated, non-silent curses as the summer progresses.
- That week towards the end of June when the mosquitoes, now roughly the size of an AMC Pacer, laugh at your citronella candles and military-grade repellent and just go to town on your tender, yielding flesh.
- Buying sunscreen, going to Target for sunscreen, forgetting to apply sunscreen, getting sunburned, going to Target for aloe vera. Circle of life, y’all.
- Hearing “Baker Street” at a lake, on a patio, or in your backyard.
- Realizing by the first week of June you are completely out of ideas for how to entertain your kids until September. Your spouse says “Well, how about swimming lessons?” Like you haven’t already thought of that. Idiot.
- Realizing that your parents’ plan was “If the same amount of kids are here on Labor Day, we won.”
- Calming your dog down when your neighbor starts shooting some “just because” fireworks he smuggled in from a border state on a random Wednesday.
- Adults utilizing wading pools for comfort. Dammit, Uncle Randy.
- The Vikings start training camp and you realize summer’s almost gone but then you remember Stefon Diggs and you smile like an idiot for a good three hours.
- Drafting a comprehensive State Fair Gluttony Plan. Items on sticks, items on buckets, where to hide your scale until October, etc.
As noted, Heat Slayer is exclusive to the Variety Pack. There will be some very limited draft availability, including our big Slay Day blowout at the Destination Brewery on Sunday, May 27. We’ll be taking over the Beer Garden and welcoming summer to Minnesota with an homage to Köln, the city that inspired the beer. It will feature a continual flow of Heat Slayer, all-you-can-eat German-inspired fare, and a commemorative Kölsch glass to take home. If you want an alternative to cabin traffic, come on in.
Surly Variety Packs featuring Heat Slayer are available to all Surly markets beginning the week of May 22.
